IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You recently heard about some new jobs at a local department store. You would like to work there. Write a letter to store manager of the department store. In your letter, -Explain how you heard about the job -Describe the kind of job you would like to have -Give details of your experience and qualifications

#jobs #department #store #work #manager #-explain #job #-describe #-give #qualifications
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to apply for the
store
Use synonyms
 manager
position
Use synonyms
 that you advertised in The Sunday Morning newspaper
last
Linking Words
 Monday. I found
this
Linking Words
position
Use synonyms
 suits my future career aspiration as I have been working as a
store
Use synonyms
 manager
assistant
Use synonyms
 for almost 4 years now. I am keen to take up new challenges with more responsibilities like the
position
Use synonyms
 you advertised. I have been working in the retail industry for more than 8 years, which includes the
assistant
Use synonyms
position
Use synonyms
 I mentioned earlier. I started to work as a
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
storekeeper
show examples
store keeper
Correct your spelling
storekeeper
show examples
 at a small clothing
store
Use synonyms
 outside of Sydney city right after my graduation from the design faculty of the University of New South Wales. I quickly got promoted as a senior fashion specialist because many customers felt satisfied with my service, and it generated a sustainable profit for the small
store
Use synonyms
. Not very long after, the
store
Use synonyms
 manager hired me as the
assistant
Use synonyms
 to replace the previous
assistant
Use synonyms
 who left the company, and that
because
Add a missing verb
was because
show examples
 my performance was excellent too. Thank you for your attention and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Sincerely Sur
Submitted by suriansy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: