In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

It is a common belief that using
cameras
in public places is being rose could restrict
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
freedom
.
However
, there is a more persuasive argument that these changes have had an overall positive effect because they can reduce
crime
in the community. On the one hand,
cameras
now appear in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
places in cities, even rural areas.
This
is concerned that the
freedom
right of individuals can be
infriginged
Correct your spelling
infringed
,
led
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
people uncomfortable when they are in public places.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
in China, authorities
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
cameras
to
marking
Wrong verb form
mark
show examples
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
in
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of
show examples
inhabitants, which
is make
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makes
show examples
freedom
rights
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
infringred
Correct your spelling
infringed
strongly.
Government
Add an article
The government
show examples
also
can abuse it to
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
control
freedom
campain
Correct your spelling
campaign
from people, which is usually harmful to the rulers.
Nervertheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
,
government
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the government
show examples
uses
cameras
as a tool so
that
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apply
show examples
control
the
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apply
show examples
criminal
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
easier. High terrorist and
crime
rate threatened the safety of the public and using
cameras
help police follow the
crime
easier. According to a
reccent
Correct your spelling
recent
survey in Hanoi, the
crime
rate decreased thirty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in two years because the authorities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
cameras
to follow the public
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
.
This
could
led
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lead
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to
a
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an
show examples
upper level
that
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where
show examples
criminal does not exist. To sum up, while there are some disadvantages of
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using
cameras
to
monitoring
Replace the word
monitor
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
, it is evident that the advantages of these things far outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by nguyenanhngocphan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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