People today don't make good use of their time and spend too much time watching TV and playing video games instead of participating in more productive activities. Do you agree or disagree?
People
nowadays spend too much time
watching television
and playing video
games
, rather than participating in more productive activities
. Personally, I totally agree with this
for two reasons.
First
of all, I do believe that people
nowadays, especially youngsters are mostly addicted to watching television
and playing video
games
in their leisure
time
. Although
there is not a definite way of
how to spend Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
leisure
time
, I believe that there is an acceptable level of spending time
on leisure
time
. If the leisure
time
is within few
hours but Correct article usage
a few
not
affect the normal working hours, it is considered Add a missing verb
does not
as
acceptable. Change preposition
apply
However
, youngsters are usually spending too much time
on
chilling out and Change preposition
apply
the
study or work Change the word
their
is interfered
Change to the active voice
interferes
has interfered
.
Change preposition
with.
In addition
, people
prefer to spend time
on
watching Change preposition
apply
television
and video
games
, rather than participating in more productive activities
. Productive activities
can be defined as Correct your spelling
some things
somethings
which can help to acquire more Correct your spelling
something
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
such
as reading books or newspapers or improve the
well-being Correct article usage
apply
such
as doing sports or taking part in outdoor activities
. People
tend to spend time
sedentarily which is perceived to be unproductive while doing outdoors
sports Replace the word
outdoor
is
perceived to be productive since well-being is being improved.
In conclusion, it is strongly believed that Change the verb form
are
people
today, particularly youngsters spend too much time
watching television
and playing video
games
, rather than taking part in more productive activities
such
as reading books or doing sports in their leisure
time
. It is suggested that parents should set a maximum amount of leisure
time
for their children and recommend outdoor family activities
such
as cycling or jogging as a way of relaxing.Submitted by Ceci.law on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite