People today don't make good use of their time and spend too much time watching TV and playing video games instead of participating in more productive activities. Do you agree or disagree?

People
nowadays spend too much
time
watching
television
and playing
video
games
, rather than participating in more productive
activities
. Personally, I totally agree with
this
for two reasons.
First
of all, I do believe that
people
nowadays, especially youngsters are mostly addicted to watching
television
and playing
video
games
in their
leisure
time
.
Although
there is not a definite way
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure
time
, I believe that there is an acceptable level of spending
time
on
leisure
time
. If the
leisure
time
is within
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
hours but
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
affect the normal working hours, it is considered
as
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apply
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acceptable.
However
, youngsters are usually spending too much
time
on
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apply
show examples
chilling out and
the
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their
show examples
study or work
is interfered
Change to the active voice
interferes
has interfered
show examples
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
In addition
,
people
prefer to spend
time
on
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apply
show examples
watching
television
and
video
games
, rather than participating in more productive
activities
. Productive
activities
can be defined as
Correct your spelling
some things
show examples
somethings
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
which can help to acquire more
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
such
as reading books or newspapers or improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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well-being
such
as doing sports or taking part in outdoor
activities
.
People
tend to spend
time
sedentarily which is perceived to be unproductive while doing
outdoors
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outdoor
show examples
sports
is
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are
show examples
perceived to be productive since well-being is being improved. In conclusion, it is strongly believed that
people
today, particularly youngsters spend too much
time
watching
television
and playing
video
games
, rather than taking part in more productive
activities
such
as reading books or doing sports in their
leisure
time
. It is suggested that parents should set a maximum amount of
leisure
time
for their children and recommend outdoor family
activities
such
as cycling or jogging as a way of relaxing.
Submitted by Ceci.law on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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