IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#position #women #societies #years #gender #equality
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Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gender bias is a well-discussed subject.
In addition
, the
females
Change to a genitive case
female's
females'
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 situation has adjusted a fair amount in many countries over the past 50 years.
However
, it seems societies cannot accept these equal opportunities yet. In my view,
although
 women's role has converted in Compare with the past
but
Remove the conjunction
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, still there are many disadvantages and
also
, societies cannot coop with these equal conditions
such
 as my country Iran, the most members of citizens have illogical prejudice so, in these ,society types have limited choices for entertainments and activities.
Also
, they cannot go to the stadium for watching football matches and it is forbidden if they have gone there, they would have imprisonment as a punishment.
consequently
, women should wear limited clothes and have
hijab
Correct article usage
a hijab
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.
Moreover
, it is impossible for females to choose their wearing and
that is
 an unfair law. So, in many areas still, gender equality has no means.
However
, it is advisable to pay attention
some
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to some
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 superb females condition which has switched. In the previous women's life, they could not have social activities or a career. They used to take care
children
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of children
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 or cooking. But, these days they have equal job opportunities. Great jobs
ranges
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range
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 from driving trucks to managing big companies. All in
all
Add a comma
,all
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 countries are really far from
to
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apply
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complete gender biases. In conclusion, it cannot be ignored the improvement of equal opportunities but there is a long way to achieve
this
 goal completely.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • historical context
  • gender pay gap
  • underrepresentation
  • leadership roles
  • gender-based violence
  • educational opportunities
  • workforce
  • legal reforms
  • statistics
  • case studies
  • global perspective
  • progressive changes
  • cultural differences
  • empowerment
  • patriarchy
  • systemic discrimination
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