A big salary is much important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been widely argued that a big salary
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
more important than
job
satisfaction. As far as I am concerned,
job
satisfaction plays a significant role in order to be successful in the carrier-life.
First
, in my opinion, if someone does not satisfy with his
job
, he can not do the
job
in the best way he could. Enjoying the
job
someone has, is the main factor that he could give his utmost attention to it as he is more enthusiastic
toward
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about
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the daily
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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they do. It is more prominent in jobs that
needs
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need
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excellent attention,
such
as medical professions as they always need endless focus.
Furthermore
, I think if employees are not satisfied with their working conditions, they will not be able to stay doing the same
job
for a long period of time.
For example
, jobs that need
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
commuting always cause employees to feel exhausted and they are more likely to have work-familie balance issues. BesidesEmployers that do not offer
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
good working circumstances,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will not able to retain their workers for a long time.
Finally
, In my point of view, people who decide to do the
job
that they like
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and more convenient
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may have
better
Correct article usage
a better
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income in long-term meaning. Passionate workmen always try to improve their skills
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
they will have a better salary later in their carrier-life. To conclude,
job
satisfaction plays an important role in the succession of workers. They would have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great attention to
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, they will stay longer on the same
job
and they are more likely to have a better salary in the future.
Submitted by ghazi.lina on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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