The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
The illustration given below depicts the proportion of water utilization for multiple purposes in six parts of the world. Domestic use of aqua in
Europe
,North and South
America
is
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
while
, the consumption
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
Africa
,Central
Asia
and South East
Asia
in terms of agricultural use has the highest utilization. First of all, Industrial usage in both North
America
and
Europe
is almost similar
that is
nearly
Replace the adverb
near
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
half 48% in North
America
yet just over half 50% in
Europe
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is 53%
while
it drops to 40% in South
America
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is 10%.
Furthermore
, domestic utilization in North and South
America
collectively
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
below
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20% exact figures are 13% in North
America
and 19% in South
America
.
Moreover
, just 15%
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
is consumed in
Europe
.
Secondly
,a larger proportion of aqua is almost above
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
80% and it is consumed for the sake of agricultural usage in three regions of the world including
Africa
,Central and South East
Asia
.Apart from that,
tiny
Add an article
a tiny
show examples
amount is consumed in
industry
Add an article
the industry
an industry
show examples
which is less than 10% in both
Africa
and Central
Asia
.These figures are 7% in
Africa
and 5% in Central
Asia
but it is almost double to
Africa
in East
Asia
exactly 12%. Apparently, the proportion of domestic consumption is showing a similarity
precisely
Change preposition
of precisely
show examples
7% in Central and South East
Asia
while
9% in
Africa
.
Submitted by afzaalahmad632 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is, while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words europe, america, africa, asia with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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