Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. Do you agree?

Although
more than fifty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
companies
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companies'
company's
show examples
employees are female in several advanced countries, the high majority of
executive level
Add a hyphen
executive-level
show examples
roles in businesses
occupied
Add a missing verb
are occupied
show examples
by men.
This
essay totally
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
that a particular proposition of these positions should be allocated to
females
because women usually outperform men in university courses and equality is a basic right
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them. The main reason why
companies
ought to assign a specific percentage of these positions to
females
is to achieve equality. It is unfair to fill these high-level
Correct your spelling
roles
show examples
rolls
Correct your spelling
roles
show examples
with more men when women are the majority of the employees. Since both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
mainly have the same work competence when it comes to job productivity. In Saudi Arabia,
for example
, the 2030 vision is looking forward to
reach
Change the verb form
reaching
show examples
an opportunity equivalence
this
is by forcing employers to maintain an equal
percentages
Correct the article-noun agreement
percentage
show examples
of both girls and boys. Another reason
Fix the infinitive
to support
show examples
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
this
argument is that
females
mostly do better academically than males. Human resources in many
companies
usually
higher
Correct your spelling
hire
show examples
new workforce regarding their high grades and experience so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is unreasonable to fill these executive-level positions with
gender
Correct article usage
a gender
show examples
base rather than expertise as
females
commonly have better academic performance.
For instance
, girls students in Saudi Arabia pharmacy
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
have
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
a significant high grades
Correct the article-noun agreement
a significant high grade
significant high grades
show examples
in most subjects
last
five years. In conclusion, top
companies
vacancy should be filled with a specified percentage of both gender in order to obtain the
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
right by equity
,
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apply
show examples
and to acknowledge their academic performance as girls have higher grades
Submitted by ph.dina on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender disparity
  • glass ceiling
  • workforce representation
  • gender diversity
  • equal opportunity
  • professional advancement
  • social equality
  • gender equality
  • empowerment
  • barrier
  • discrimination
  • inequality
  • bias
  • reinforce
  • inclusive
  • combat
  • strive for
  • promote
  • nurture
  • enhance
  • progressive
  • implement
  • quota system
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