IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Woman and men are commonly seen as having different strength and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#woman #men #strength #weaknesses #right #males #females #professions #gender #reason
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Stereotypically different strengths and weaknesses are attributed to males and
femals
Correct your spelling
females
 based on their genders.
However
Linking Words
, I categorically disagree with
exclusion
Correct article usage
the exclusion
show examples
 of either sex from any profession.I believe that throughout the history of humankind numerous
invdividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 have broken the
gender based
Add a hyphen
gender-based
show examples
 archetypes .
Firstly
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,
women
Use synonyms
 have proven that they are equally competent in several
male dominated
Add a hyphen
male-dominated
show examples
 professions.For
Correct your spelling
instance
intsance
Add a comma
,intsance
show examples
 the world has witnessed numerous
women
Use synonyms
 who took part in politics and
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
 countries through
Add an article
the crisis
a crisis
show examples
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
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.
Further
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,
military
Correct article usage
the military
show examples
, which is considered to be a conventionally
masucline
Correct your spelling
masculine
 profession has numerous
women
Use synonyms
 on
frontlines
Correct article usage
the frontlines
show examples
.
Thus
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, it is clearly evident that excluding
women
Use synonyms
 from these roles would be a potential disaster.
Secondly
Linking Words
,men have
also
Linking Words
 proven their abilities in traditionally feminine professions.To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
 ,a staggering number of men have become top chefs.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 nursing, which is
Add a hyphen
female-dominated
show examples
female
Add an article
a female
show examples
dominated
Replace the word
dominant
show examples
 profession has seen a large growth in the number of men in the
last
Linking Words
 decade.
As a result
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, their contribution
through
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the pandemic was significant. In a
nutshell
Add a comma
,nutshell
show examples
 to recapitulate the aforementioned arguments, I would like to
reintsate
Correct your spelling
reinstate
reiterate
 my position that gender equality is a fundamental factor for the progression of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 a
prejudice free
Add a hyphen
prejudice-free
show examples
 work
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 is key for holistic development.
Submitted by singh.manwork on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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