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Band 5

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration
It has been often argued that it is more advantageous to have a job with a high wage even if they do not have satisfaction with it. I think, I totally agree with the above-mentioned statement and earning more
money
 is much more important. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wealth is necessary in order for
community
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the community
a community
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 to meet their basic needs of
life
.
This
 is because each one requires more income
Correct your spelling
today's
Change preposition
in todays
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todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
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 contemporary world.
For example
, In the UK nationalities need a huge budget for housing if renting, daily
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 and paying taxes and bills including water and electricity,
therefore
, If a father fails to earn enough
money
 simultaneously,
this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 whole family can be affected differently
such
 as they get many issues to pay to the mortgagee, at the same time, it might be a legal issue for them. On the
second
 hand, children’s higher education, and keeping fit for family members as well as maintaining
quality
Add an article
the quality
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 of
life
 vast
money
 required.
For instance
, teenagers to complete their medical or nursing degree essential around more than 100 thousand Dollars. If parents cannot help them, students have to work as
a part-time employees
Correct the article-noun agreement
a part-time employee
part-time employees
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 to cover their expenses.
As a result
, they struggle during
this
 academy course as some students suffer from numerous medical problems due to
tension
Correct article usage
the tension
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 of both study and work. As an illustration, ‘The Times’ newspaper says the reason for the higher suicidal percentage worldwide takes
second
 place among
this
 age group is those who have to work hard on their study.
Finally
, no
money
 means no luxury or healthier
life
 nowadays. As an explanation, everyone has pleasure, when
get
Change the verb form
getting
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 more comfortable. In another word, since people can fulfil their vital
life
 plan, the satisfaction remains for a longer period of their
life
 journey. In conclusion,
nevertheless
, I strongly believe
that is
 more beneficial for receiving a higher payment than well-being in a career, in light of the fact that people feel pleasure and motivate when their accounts get a lot of cash with satisfaction end of each month and enjoy those who are in single or with family.
Submitted by rdbowalgaha on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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