IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration
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It has been often argued that it is more advantageous to have a job with a high wage even if they do not have satisfaction with it.
However
Linking Words
, I think, I totally agree with the above-mentioned statement and earning more
income
Use synonyms
 is much more important. On the one hand, wealth is necessary in order for the community to meet their basic needs of
life
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is because each one requires more
income
Use synonyms
today’s
Change preposition
in today’s
show examples
 contemporary world.
For example
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, In the UK nationalities need a huge budget for housing if renting, daily meals and paying taxes and bills including water and electricity,
therefore
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, If a father fails to earn enough money simultaneously, the whole family can be affected differently
such
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 as they get many issues to pay to the mortgagee, at the same time, it might be a legal issue for them. On the
second
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 hand,
today’s
Change preposition
in today’s
show examples
 world, if there is no balance with a small
income
Use synonyms
 parents tend to do
actively
Replace the word
activities
show examples
 more than one
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
. They are seeking few careers for increasing budgets and supporting
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 giving the
children’s
Change noun form
children
show examples
 higher education almost all defenders, and keeping fit for family members.
This
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 leads to
suffer
Change the verb form
suffering
show examples
 them to maintain
quality
Correct pronoun usage
their quality
show examples
 of
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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,
teenagers
Change preposition
for teenagers
show examples
 to complete their medical or nursing degree essential around more than 100 thousand Dollars in Sri Lanka. The parents, especially the father
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
 to do part-time jobs for assisting them.
As a result
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,
such
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 parents struggle during
this
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 academy course that some of them might get numerous medical problems due to the tension of
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
 and without leisure time. As an illustration, ‘The Times’ newspaper says the reason for the higher suicidal percentage worldwide takes
second
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 place among 40 to 50 middle age group due to extend over time.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 contrast, when people have more salary in a job are
resulting
Add the preposition
inresulting
fromresulting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 quality of
life
Use synonyms
 and
healthier
Correct article usage
a healthier
show examples
 society.
Finally
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, no luxury
life
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 because no large portion of
Per
Correct article usage
the Per
show examples
 Capital
Income
Use synonyms
 in the country and fluctuating healthier
life
Use synonyms
everybody
Change preposition
for everybody
show examples
 nowadays. As an explanation, Adults and children in Sri Lanka have feelings of pleasure, when getting more comfortable
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 them. In another word, since people can fulfil their vital present and future plan, the satisfaction remains for a longer period of their journey. In conclusion,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, I strongly believe
that is
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 more beneficial for receiving a higher payment than well-being in a career with a fewer amount of salary, in light of the fact that people feel pleasure and motivate when their bank accounts get a lot of cash with satisfaction end of each month and enjoy those who are in single or with family.
Submitted by rdbowalgaha on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
What to do next:
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