IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
HUMAN BEINGS HAVE BEEN SEARCHING THE WAYS OF BEING HAPPY FOR YEARS. WHILE SOME
PEOPLE
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 THINK THAT A BIG WAGE IS MORE USEFUL IN THE WAY OF FINDING HAPPINESS THAN EMOTIONS, OTHERS BELIEVE THAT JOB SATISFACTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN
MONEY
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.
THIS
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 ESSAY WILL EXPLAIN WHY I THINK THAT WORKING WITH PLEASURE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SALARY AND OUTLINE THE POSSIBLE REASONS FOR IT.
FIRST
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 AND FOREMOST,
PEOPLE
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 SPEND AT LEAST 40 HOURS IN A WEEK, WHICH MEANS THE HALF OF AN AVERAGE LIFE, AT WORK. BECAUSE OF THAT FACT,
PEOPLE
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 HAVE TO FEEL FULFILLED TO PROTECT THEIR MENTAL HEALTH. TO AN EXTENT, WHEN A PERSON WORKS WITHOUT A PLEASURE, HER WORKING HOUR WILL BECOME A WASTE AND ONE HOUR WILL
LAST
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 FOREVER IN ADVANCE. IN THE END,
THIS
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 WILL HAVE AN EXHAUSTING EFFECT AND SHE WILL SINK INTO A DEPRESSION AT THE END.
IN ADDITION
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, ACCORDING TO MASLOW’S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS, IN SPITE OF
MONEY
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 BEING ONE OF THE BASIC NEEDS, IT IS NOT ENOUGH FOR SELF-ACTUALIZATION. AS
PEOPLE
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 ARE GETTING HIGHER LEVELS IN THE HIERARCHY , THEIR NEEDS BECOME MORE RELEVANT TO FEELINGS WHICH JOB SATISFACTION IS ONE OF THEM. WITHOUT
THIS
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 FEELING,
PEOPLE
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 CAN NOT COMPLETE THEMSELVES IN TERMS OF EMOTIONS. TO SUM UP,
ALTHOUGH
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MONEY
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 IS QUITE IMPORTANT IN A HUMAN LIFE, JOB SATISFACTION IS AN INDISPENSABLE ELEMENT AND MORE IMPORTANT TO CATCHING UP HAPPINESS OR TO MAKING REAL THE SELF-ACTUALIZATION. BECAUSE EVERYTHING DONE BY
PEOPLE
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 SERVES TO FIND HAPPINESS, FEELING FULFILLED IN THE WORKPLACE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN
MONEY
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.
Submitted by dt.essrademir on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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