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Band 6

The graphs below show the post-school qualifications held by Canadians in the age groups 25 to 35 and 45 to 55. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graphs below show the post-school qualifications held by Canadians in the age groups 25 to 35 and 45 to 55. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#graphs #show #post-school #qualifications #canadians #age #groups #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The pie charts depict the proportion of different qualifications which were held by
the
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Canadians
 aged between 25 to 35 and 45 to 55.
Overall
, it should be clearly seen that most
Canadians
 aged between 25 to 35 hold a
degree
 related to
the
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administration, social
science
, arts and Social
Science
, Maths,
Computers
Correct word choice
and Computers
show examples
while
 most
Canadians
 aged between 45 to 55 hold a
degree
 related to
the
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Social
Science
, Arts and Engineering. It is
also
 worth mentioning that Social
Science
 and
Arts’
Change noun form
Arts
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degree
 was by far the most popular among
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
aged
Replace the word
age
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 groups. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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the
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apply
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Social
Science
 and Arts, both
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
 groups accounted for
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 percentage, with around 20%.
Likewise
, both
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
 groups
also
 had
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 in terms of Education and Humanities, which was roughly average
14
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of 14
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 % and 5 % respectively. In sharp contrast,
while
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people
who
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apply
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aged
for
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apply
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25 to 35 preferred Administration (19%) and
Science
, Maths,
Computers
Correct word choice
and Computers
show examples
 (18%) more when compared to the other aged
group
 which was 15% and 10% respectively.
On the other hand
, the
Canadians
 aged
for
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apply
show examples
35 to 45 preferred Engineering (19%) more when compared to the other aged
group
, at only 9%, which was very similar to the figures for the nursing
degree
, with 11% in the aged
group
 between 45 to 55 and 7 % in the aged
group
 between 25 and 35.
Submitted by gac7077 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canadians, degree, science, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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