IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You work in a busy but poorly organised office and you are keen to be promoted. Your employer needs to find a new supervisor for your department. Write a letter to your employer. In the letter ask to be considered for this job explain why you would be a suitable candidate outline the current problems and the changes you would like to make

#work #office #employer #supervisor #department #job #candidate #outline #changes
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Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
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 Sam I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my interest
about
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in
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 a new job vacancy
at
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in
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 our department. I would like to describe myself and tell you about my experience.
First
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 of all, I am a person who
like
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likes
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 to take a risk;
however
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, I am a wise person.
Secondly
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, I like to help, and willing people and I think all the employees at our company they like me, and I have a good experience in your company and out it
in addition
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 to that, I can solve any problems
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 employees issues, financial issues and legal compactions
also
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, as you know I have a lot of qualifications in my major so I can manage our department.
Although
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 we have some
problem
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problems
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 in our company
specially
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especially
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 after COVID -19 pandemic and a promise
to
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apply
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you I will solve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 after when I hold my new position
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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, I can solve any problem in the feature whether side
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 of
pandemic
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a pandemic
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 or any issues. Best Regards
Submitted by alruhaimi6 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • keen to be promoted
  • suitable candidate
  • supervisor role
  • relevant experience
  • organizational abilities
  • problem-solving skills
  • familiarity with current problems
  • impact on productivity
  • streamlining processes
  • improving communication channels
  • introducing new tools and technologies
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