IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You recently heard about some new jobs at a local department store. You would like to work there. Write a letter to store manager of the department store. In your letter, -Explain how you heard about the job -Describe the kind of job you would like to have -Give details of your experience and qualifications

#jobs #department #store #work #manager #-explain #job #-describe #-give #qualifications
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Dear sir/madam, I m writing
this
 letter regarding a job opening at your store, I would like to apply for a job. To commence with, I came across your vacancy at your place by one of my friends. As he was passing by queens street, he saw a billboard in regards to job applicants for different designations at one of your departmental outlets.
Additionally
, the post of store manager is still empty in your outlet, I would like to apply for that as I was seeking that post for the past few months. As I
also
 know it requires more effort to manage the staff as well as the stocks. Apart from
this
, I have recently persuaded my bachelor's of commerce, I can utilise my knowledge in bookkeeping and stock maintenance.
Moreover
, I
also
 had an experience in the same as I served at all mart shops in Colaba. Where I grabbed good communication skills with customers. I look forwards to receiving a positive revert from you soon. Yours sincerely, Vandana Patel.
Submitted by Vandanpatel0709 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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