IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplaces. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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To be honest I do not believe that
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are the best mode of transport in the cities.
to begin
Linking Words
 with there's
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of bicycle lanes and trails in most towns.
Secondly
Linking Words
 lack of storage as result many will
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 them to thieves.
Generally
Add a comma
,Generally
show examples
 some people are disabled they are not able to use them .They can not be used in case of emergency because they're slow , imagine carrying a pregnant woman on
bike
Add an article
the bike
a bike
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 to the hospital.Another
drow
Correct your spelling
draw
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 back is travel will be limited for one can not travel long distances using a bicycle .The final limitation is that they have poor lighting which can cause a lot of accidents during the night and rain season.Some
bicycles
Use synonyms
 do not have view mirrors which is a recipe for disaster .
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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at
Change preposition
from
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 another angle
bicycles
Use synonyms
 can be the best mode of transport in the cities.Due to the fact that a lot of people do not like exercising , riding a bicycle to work will be the easiest exercise whilst you're going to your destination .
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
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this
Linking Words
 leads to a healthier life . Reducing the risk of diabetes , cardiovascular diseases as well as depression .
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 it helps
burning
Wrong verb form
burn
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 calories
to
Change preposition
for
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 those who suffer
with
Change preposition
from
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obese
Replace the word
obesity
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 and builds strength
increases
Correct word choice
and increases
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 balance. Another important merit is it safe money because they are cheaper to purchase .The use of
bicycles
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 saves on
fuel
Use synonyms
 for some of them they don't need
fuel
Use synonyms
 and for those that need it the consumption is low ,
therefore
Linking Words
 other projects that
needs
Change the verb form
need
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fuel
Use synonyms
 will have adequate
fuel
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 it's smooth to manufacture the parts as an
out come
Correct your spelling
outcome
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 the service will be
affordab
Correct your spelling
affordable

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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