The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two charts illustrate the number of British admissions who can speak many different languages
besides
English at a university located in England over two different years, 2000 and 2010.
Overall
, undergraduates in
this
university who can not communicate in any accent except for the native one accounted for the highest percentage
while
people who speak German always occupied the lowest and stayed static at that time. In 2000, the percentage of
students
who were capable of speaking English only applied 30%, which was the highest score, followed by 20% who were able to speak Spanish. The
third
target proportion was 15%, which was represented by
students
speaking French only and another speaker,
besides
10% of participants could communicate in French or two other languages. In 2010, the amount of multilingual and other languages slightly increased by 5% which apply about 15% and 20% respectively adjacent English-speaking
students
still dominated in
this
school, at 35%.
Nevertheless
,
Spanish
Correct article usage
the Spanish
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spoken decreased
10
Change preposition
by 10
show examples
% of
students
and declined by 5% in the proportion of French-speaking, around 10%.
Finally
, the
students
who speak German only constituted the smallest percentage and remained unchanged at the same number by one-tenth in
this
final year.
Submitted by daisyle1811 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: