IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more women have joined the work force in recent years. What reasons do women have to be more professionaly driven? What effects does this trend have on their families?

#women #work #force #years #effects #trend #families
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Currently ,
women
Use synonyms
 get flooded opportunities rather than men and
also
Linking Words
 many of them are working in prestigious industries, which is possible
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some reason that illustrates , what is behind
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
First
Linking Words
 of all , they are more intelligent than others , they manage
work
Use synonyms
 As well as their social
life
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
 the contrary male,
life
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
 the contrary male cannot able to manage their personal
life
Use synonyms
 ,
for example
Linking Words
 , a
servey
Correct your spelling
survey
server
 , which did by scientists that
women
Use synonyms
's mind
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work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 more after rather than other species,
consequently
Linking Words
, they can
be do
Change the verb form
be done
show examples
 any kind of
work
Use synonyms
 well.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , owing to the advanced culture , our mindset has totally changed it ,
therefore
Linking Words
 they are doing tasks today ,
for instance
Linking Words
 , most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies prefer
first
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 as an employee , in light of the fact that we know recent decades about their ability , in effect , it will grow rapidly because of them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , they have good skill to do any particular
work
Use synonyms
 with precision as they manage their marriage
life
Use synonyms
 , children , profession and
houseworkwork
Correct your spelling
housework work
also
Linking Words
 all done without any doubt ,
for instance
Linking Words
 , according to the time of India , 20% of
women
Use synonyms
 , who works , they are over the forty , how is the ability to manage
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion , due to the fact , that they have more beneficial rather than others ,
therefore
Linking Words
 the rate of working
women
Use synonyms
 is increasing rapidly and it will get up more and more , which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
all happens to their dedication.
Submitted by ssangani6161 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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