In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home

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Nowadays,
children
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avoid
to share
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sharing
show examples
time
Use synonyms
with their immediate family and they spend more
time
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with their pals.
This
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essay will argue that
this
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phenomenon
phenimenon
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phenomenon
might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
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happened
happen
happend
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happen
because some
parents
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have two jobs during
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
day and there is no
time
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to share with the family. I believe
children
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should not be
Add an article
a force
show examples
force
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forced
show examples
to spend
time
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at
home
Use synonyms
because
this
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is not the proper solution to bond. Many families in the United States have higher expectations in life that they need to have two jobs during a day, and
this
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lead to their
children
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stay alone at
home
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or be
supervise
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supervised
show examples
by an
extranger
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stranger
.
This
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situation has changed the way
parents
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approach their
children
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because by the
time
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they got
home
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they are
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exhausted
exausted
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exhausted
. More importantly, many young people need to go to bed early to be ready the
next
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morning to go to school. All these factors lead them to have less physical contact with their
parents
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that
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and
show examples
they feel no connection
each
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with each
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other.
For instance
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, In the United States, both
parents
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have to go to work early in the morning and
they
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apply
show examples
arrived
at
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apply
show examples
home
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late in the evening,
this
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situation creates a barrier between their
children
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. It is important to find the
time
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to create a bond with their
children
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and improve the ambience at
home
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.
Moreover
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, creating a healthy routine for weekends that let
parents
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to
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apply
show examples
play and talk with their
children
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, might improve the relationship among the family.
Also
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, the couple should sit down and talk about the importance to set more realistic goals for the family
in
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apply
show examples
which let them to
saty
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stay
at
home
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to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
time
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with the family. To explain
further
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, In Mexico, it
is accustom
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is accustomed
show examples
that the male goes to work while the mother
stay
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stays
show examples
at
home
Use synonyms
supervicing
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supervising
servicing
the members of the family, so
this
Linking Words
family technique has helped
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
children
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feel
emotional
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emotionally
show examples
connected among their
parents
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. To conclude,
parents
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should work less to have
time
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to attend
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
children
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, so their
Correct your spelling
members
memebers
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members
of the family create an emotional bond that
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
them to feel a
Correct your spelling
necessity
neccesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
to
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stay
saty
Correct your spelling
sit
with them without forcing them.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic commitments
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Technology and social media
  • Peer acceptance
  • Independence
  • Family dynamics
  • Cultural norms
  • Individualism
  • Parental enforcement
  • Family bonds
  • Social development
  • Autonomy versus guidance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: