IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You and a couple of your colleagues would like to participate in a work-related seminar. Write a letter to your colleague who is the person in charge of the seminar and ask for: Detailed information regarding the dates Program schedule Enquire about cost and possible discounts for groups

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Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr

The abbreviated title Mr. seems to be punctuated incorrectly. Consider changing the punctuation.

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 John, I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 letter to enquire about the “Artificial Intelligence” seminar which is going to
held
Add a missing verb
be held

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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 on 5th July 2022. I and a few teammates are very keen to attend the session as the knowledge of advanced technology will enhance our skillset. I am looking for information regarding the program. Please provide me schedule and duration of the curriculum.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I would be grateful if you could
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 share the agenda of the session along with who is going to the session and what topics will be covered. We are very delighted about the course as the Robotics expertise will help us to resolve the many problems and helps in our current job. Our expertise could be useful to other staff members.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I would
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 like to know about the pricing of each
participants
Change to a singular noun
participant

The singular quantifier each is followed by the plural noun participants. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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 and if there is
possibility
Add an article
a possibility
the possibility

The noun phrase possibility seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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for
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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discount
Add an article
a discount
the discount

The noun phrase discount seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 because we are more than 5
persons
Replace the word
people

The word persons doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 in
group
Add an article
the group
a group

The noun phrase group seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. I hope, you will consider our group and provide us with the best deal. Yours Faithfully, Fancy

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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