IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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pie charts
turn
Verb problem
given
show examples
 about the sectors where
water
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is
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used in six different areas throughout the world.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear in the charts that most
water
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 in the field of agriculture among the three sectors
while
Linking Words
 the percentages of industrial
use
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 and domestic
use
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 are average. To start with, in North America, half of the total
water
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 used in
industries
Use synonyms
, two
of
Change preposition
apply
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fifth and
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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ten
water
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 in
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
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 and
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 respectively
while
Linking Words
 in South America, Most of the
water
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 used for harvest consisted 71% and others consisted 10% (
industries
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) and 19% (in
home
Add an article
the home
a home
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).
Then
Linking Words
 in Europe, again
industries
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use
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 most of the
water
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 around 53%
while
Linking Words
 Agricultural
use
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 (32%)
water
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 double time
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 domestic
use
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 (15%). Next in Africa, 84%
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water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 in
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 9% and 7%
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water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
Add a missing verb
are
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used in houses and
industries
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 respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Asia
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is
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separated
in
Change preposition
into
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 two sections named
central
Capitalize word
Central
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Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
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. Interestingly, both
Asia
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 used most
water
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
agricultural purposes
while
Linking Words
 in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two sectors a little
water
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
was used
show examples
 only.
Submitted by shovog375 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, industries, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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