In many countries today, if people want to find a job, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many nations in
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
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recent years, in order to get a job, people are sacrificing chances to stay closer to their friends and their families. From my perspective,
this
phenomenon could be both positive and negative. On the one hand, migrant workers might suffer from loneliness and many difficulties, which can result in depression.
For example
, workers who step out of their comfort zone will face a new working environment, which they may find hard to adapt to and lead to tension in their work performance.
Moreover
, some individuals are unable to stand on their own since they are used to receiving support from families.
For instance
, when it comes to illnesses, people working far from home have to take care of themselves.
This
can be more serious for introverts since they usually distance themselves from new peers, which accelerates a lack of friends and having no protectorship when needed.
On the other hand
, distance workers will stand a chance to have career prospects. One clear example is that people in rural areas normally apply for a job in a city
that is
a hub of various industries in order to earn a well-paid job.
In addition
, living with parents will bring many family conflicts
due to
the generation gap, which might affect their work performance. Without the supervision of parents, youngsters can devote themselves to work and avoid disturbance. In conclusion, I believe working far can bring both detrimental and benefits at the same time
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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a balanced view and addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of working far from home. The examples provided support the main points effectively, but the ideas could be presented more coherently and cohesively to improve the overall structure.
task achievement
The response to the task is complete and discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of moving away from friends and family to find a job. The ideas presented are comprehensive and relevant with clear examples. The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task, but there is room for improvement in presenting the ideas more effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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