In many countries today, if people want to find a job, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #job #move #friends #families #development

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In many nations in

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this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

recent years, in order to get a job, people are sacrificing chances to stay closer to their friends and their families. From my perspective,

this

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phenomenon could be both positive and negative. On the one hand, migrant workers might suffer from loneliness and many difficulties, which can result in depression.

For example

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, workers who step out of their comfort zone will face a new working environment, which they may find hard to adapt to and lead to tension in their work performance.

Moreover

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, some individuals are unable to stand on their own since they are used to receiving support from families.

For instance

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, when it comes to illnesses, people working far from home have to take care of themselves.

This

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can be more serious for introverts since they usually distance themselves from new peers, which accelerates a lack of friends and having no protectorship when needed.

On the other hand

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, distance workers will stand a chance to have career prospects. One clear example is that people in rural areas normally apply for a job in a city

that is

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a hub of various industries in order to earn a well-paid job.

In addition

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, living with parents will bring many family conflicts

due to

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the generation gap, which might affect their work performance. Without the supervision of parents, youngsters can devote themselves to work and avoid disturbance. In conclusion, I believe working far can bring both detrimental and benefits at the same time

Submitted by TommyEnderxxxroblox on Mon Sep 19 2022

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coherence cohesion

The essay provides a balanced view and addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of working far from home. The examples provided support the main points effectively, but the ideas could be presented more coherently and cohesively to improve the overall structure.

task achievement

The response to the task is complete and discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of moving away from friends and family to find a job. The ideas presented are comprehensive and relevant with clear examples. The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task, but there is room for improvement in presenting the ideas more effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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In many countries today, if people want to find a job, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Word Count

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many parts of the world, some famous people are regarded as ‘role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behavior. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?