IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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It is argued that a good salary
of
Change preposition
for
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 an
employee
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 plays a
crucial
Correct quantifier usage
more crucial
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 role
than
Change preposition
over
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 job satisfaction.
This
Linking Words
 essay is consistent with the statement that
employee
Use synonyms
 pleasure matters more compared to more income, because it helps to maintain better relationships with friends and relatives, as they have enough time to spend with them, and
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 exceptionally well when they are fully aligned and satisfied. Receiving a significant salary requires more personal time to complete tasks, which indirectly worsens relations with their relatives.
This
Linking Words
 is due to the fact that earnings are directly proportional to the amount of
work
Use synonyms
 performed by any
employee
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, they bring loneliness and make
people
Use synonyms
 tired, which has a huge impact on their health, both physical and mental.
For example
Linking Words
, in the US,
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 for good remuneration are more likely to have problems
such
Linking Words
 as high blood pressure and are mentally ill, compared to
people
Use synonyms
 who are more focused on job satisfaction. Another reason why job satisfaction is more important than higher pay is that you can get more fruitful results.
This
Linking Words
 is because the pleasure of
work
Use synonyms
 allows
people
Use synonyms
 to perform their tasks more efficiently, which does not contribute to the prosperity of both the employer and the
employee
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted 2-3 years ago showed that
people
Use synonyms
 who like their
work
Use synonyms
 have better productivity and more opportunities for growth.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: