IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
It is argued that a good salary
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 an
employee
 plays a
crucial
Correct quantifier usage
more crucial
show examples
 role
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
 job satisfaction.
This
 essay is consistent with the statement that
employee
 pleasure matters more compared to more income, because it helps to maintain better relationships with friends and relatives, as they have enough time to spend with them, and
also
people
work
 exceptionally well when they are fully aligned and satisfied. Receiving a significant salary requires more personal time to complete tasks, which indirectly worsens relations with their relatives.
This
 is due to the fact that earnings are directly proportional to the amount of
work
 performed by any
employee
.
As a result
, they bring loneliness and make
people
 tired, which has a huge impact on their health, both physical and mental.
For example
, in the US,
people
 who
work
 for good remuneration are more likely to have problems
such
 as high blood pressure and are mentally ill, compared to
people
 who are more focused on job satisfaction. Another reason why job satisfaction is more important than higher pay is that you can get more fruitful results.
This
 is because the pleasure of
work
 allows
people
 to perform their tasks more efficiently, which does not contribute to the prosperity of both the employer and the
employee
.
For example
, a survey conducted 2-3 years ago showed that
people
 who like their
work
 have better productivity and more opportunities for growth.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: