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Writing Samples /
Band 2

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
It is said that jobs with high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 are
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
preferable
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 jobs with pleasure. I disagree with
this
 statement. I will explain it in
this
 essay. Executed experiment with
question
Add an article
the question
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why
Change preposition
of why
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 workers are staying at work for a long time shows that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the
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people do not prioritize money. Employees have
choice
Add an article
the choice
a choice
show examples
 to work with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pleasure. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 people want to have good conditions
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
working
Correct article usage
the working
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 area, while they spend more day time there.
For example
,
main
Correct article usage
the main
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 facilities
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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required
Add a missing verb
are required
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 for office workers,
such
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 bright light,
new
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a new
show examples
 laptop or personal computer, furniture,
coffee
Correct article usage
a coffee
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 room with coffee and tea and plenty
vacation
Change preposition
of vacation
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 days.
On the other hand
, people prefer fine
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
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 and colleagues, which share
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
experience and knowledge with them.
High-minded
Add an article
The high-minded
A high-minded
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 supervisor can give tasks with appropriate deadlines,
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 can give
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 feedback to
Add an article
the executed
an executed
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executed
Wrong verb form
execute
show examples
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
. With
this
 type of
manager
Add a comma
,manager
show examples
 employees can be part of
structured
Add an article
the structured
a structured
show examples
 group. Parallel with
Correct article usage
the supervisor
show examples
supervisor
Fix the agreement mistake
supervisors
show examples
 other colleagues can impact
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your working effectiveness with their understanding
each
Change preposition
of each
show examples
 other without any
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
. When and manager and colleagues are working as one team without any arguments, there will be
Correct article usage
a satisfied
show examples
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
 job ever.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: