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Band 5.5

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
It is argued that a big wage is much more crucial than career pleasure.
This
 essay totally disagrees with that statement. I believe that people who spend most of their life, daily at work, understand what they spend it on and are more likely to feel pleasure rather than negativity,
also
 they think money doesn’t exactly bring happiness. Most of the employees
,
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 realize that 30% of their existence is spent on work, so because of the seriousness they at least try, to find opportunities to enjoy every bit of it. Imagine your 30% being full of negativity, is
this
 life even worth living? You wake up every day, 5 days a week for 12 months, at 7 AM and
then
 you waste your whole day.
For example
, my uncle Andrew was only working for his big salary, not thinking about his mental health, which
finally
 resulted in a mental breakdown and job loss. It doesn’t even matter, how much cash anyone has, it still can’t buy you happiness.
Although
, many individuals say
otherwise
, in
real
Replace the word
reality
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, wealth is killing every good aspect
about
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of
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 your life. Of course, you can purchase cars, houses, and expensive clothes but is it really the way out? Even
I
Correct word choice
though I
show examples
, thought that I am so powerful and influential only, because I got money,
got
Correct word choice
and got
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 hit by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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reality the hardest way. In conclusion, for an integral part of people, earning a really good salary is less important than career satisfaction, because they fully realize how much time they spend on it and
also
, that money can’t buy you happiness.
Submitted by caramaniulian15 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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