Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

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To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, big wages is a very
principial
Correct your spelling
principal

If you don’t want principial to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

than job satisfaction.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Change the verb form
I agree

It appears that the form of the verb agree does not work with ’m in this sentence.

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I’m
Correct your spelling
I'd

The word I'm doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

and I will describe why young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

think that
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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big salary is major satisfaction in our life. On the one hand, a great number of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

prefer tremendous
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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income
than
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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work satisfaction nowadays,
Add an article
the employee
an employee
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employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees

It seems that employee may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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can make
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun money in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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various money and will work less. There will be extra motivation toward work.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, for workers a very important is status promotion, to get awards and respect from employers.
Salary
Add an article
The salary
A salary

The noun phrase Salary increase seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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increase is a confirmation of
achieved
Replace the word
achievement

The word achieved doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in a professional career.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, by
earn
Wrong verb form
earning

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb earn. Consider changing it.

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а large sums of money,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can afford many things and many opportunities. Abroad ways will be opened or expensive things can be afforded.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of less work-related stress, employees will be better able to manage their tasks and personal lives.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

favor
Change the spelling
favour

The spelling of favor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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having a big salary for a variety of reasons. They can mostly realize their aspirations of leading affluent lives. They can afford pricey items that
low wage
Add a hyphen
low-wage

It seems that low wage is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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workers cannot afford.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when businesses introduce new phones or other products, they can buy them without considering the cost.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it would be useful to keep them pleased by making their desires come true.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, working in a high-paying company, stress
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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much
more heavy
Replace the words
heavier

You have used the compound adjective more heavy. Consider using the comparative form of this adjective.

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than those working in a satisfying job
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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