Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
There is an
argue
that whether there is Replace the word
argument
damaging
effect on Add an article
the damaging
a damaging
the
society created by Correct article usage
apply
violence
on television and in computer games
or not. While some people
insist that it is true, others and I have a
great Correct article usage
apply
doubt
Fix the agreement mistake
doubts
on
Change preposition
about
this
argument. First
and foremost, it cannot be denied that there is a wide variety of television programs
and videos
Change the noun form
video
games
that contain violent scene
like shooting or Fix the agreement mistake
scenes
murdering
. Replace the word
murder
This
raises a great fear for many people
as they believe people
who watch those programs
or play those games
could get exposed to violence
, which can lead to their
aggressive Correct pronoun usage
apply
behavior
in daily life. There were a few cases where someone harm others as they copy the violent film they watched, and Change the spelling
behaviour
this
trigger
Replace the word
triggered
people
supporting
the argument even more. Change the verb form
to support
However
, there is hardly any science
study in the world Replace the word
scientific
Correct pronoun usage
that affirm
affirm
that Correct subject-verb agreement
affirms
people
tend to act more violent
if they watch violent Change the word
violently
programs
or play shooting games
. People
only have aggressive behavior
if they live in environments that Change the spelling
behaviour
full
of Add a missing verb
are full
violence
, not just by seeing movies like "Joker" or "The Godfather". Moreover
, we can use those programs
to educate children about violence
like how to avoid it or how to control it, instead
of just constantly telling them violence
is bad without showing them the consequences. In conclusion, I would say violence
in those medias
Correct your spelling
media
have
so significant influence on Change the verb form
has
people
's behavior
. Television and computers are not the main factors that shape personal character, and they can even be useful in reducing the level of Change the spelling
behaviour
violence
.Submitted by thaiannt on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite