Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

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There is an

argue

Replace the word

argument

show examples

that whether there is

damaging

Add an article

the damaging

a damaging

show examples

effect on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society created by

violence

Use synonyms

on television and in computer

games

Use synonyms

or not. While some

people

Use synonyms

insist that it is true, others and I have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great

doubt

Fix the agreement mistake

doubts

show examples

Change preposition

about

show examples

this

Linking Words

argument.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, it cannot be denied that there is a wide variety of television

programs

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and

videos

Change the noun form

video

show examples

games

Use synonyms

that contain violent

scene

Fix the agreement mistake

scenes

show examples

like shooting or

murdering

Replace the word

murder

show examples

This

Linking Words

raises a great fear for many

people

Use synonyms

as they believe

people

Use synonyms

who watch those

programs

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or play those

games

Use synonyms

could get exposed to

violence

Use synonyms

, which can lead to

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

aggressive

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

in daily life. There were a few cases where someone harm others as they copy the violent film they watched, and

this

Linking Words

trigger

Replace the word

triggered

show examples

people

Use synonyms

supporting

Change the verb form

to support

show examples

the argument even more.

However

Linking Words

, there is hardly any

science

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scientific

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study in the world

Correct pronoun usage

that affirm

show examples

affirm

Correct subject-verb agreement

affirms

show examples

that

people

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tend to act more

violent

Change the word

violently

show examples

if they watch violent

programs

Use synonyms

or play shooting

games

Use synonyms

People

Use synonyms

only have aggressive

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

if they live in environments that

full

Add a missing verb

are full

show examples

violence

Use synonyms

, not just by seeing movies like "Joker" or "The Godfather".

Moreover

Linking Words

, we can use those

programs

Use synonyms

to educate children about

violence

Use synonyms

like how to avoid it or how to control it,

instead

Linking Words

of just constantly telling them

violence

Use synonyms

is bad without showing them the consequences. In conclusion, I would say

violence

Use synonyms

in those

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

so significant influence on

people

Use synonyms

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. Television and computers are not the main factors that shape personal character, and they can even be useful in reducing the level of

violence

Use synonyms

Submitted by thaiannt on Mon Nov 28 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

in order to succeed, people require certain personality traits. what are these traits? what else is needed

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside for children is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places for children to grow up?