IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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There is a widespread belief that
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 income is more essential than pleasure. In my perspective, getting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pleasure
outweights
Correct your spelling
outweighs
venue
Correct article usage
the venue
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 because pleasure
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
better
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mental health and there are
also
Linking Words
 qualified specialists. Mental health is the most major stuff in
work
Use synonyms
 . It implies that ,if
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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 does not enjoy where
Use synonyms
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
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, it would provide to
retiring
Replace the word
retirement
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 and depression.
For instance
Linking Words
, almost every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
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 on planet Earth do not enjoy what they do not like , since
Correct article usage
the human's
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human's
Change noun form
human
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 brain
protecst
Correct your spelling
protect
protects
person
Correct article usage
a person
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 against
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 that causes reluctance to do ,and when
Correct article usage
an individul
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individul
Correct your spelling
individual
 urge
oneself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 it means struggling with
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 brain which in consequence leaves a negative residue .
As a result
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
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the number of people who retire is increasing ,
unemployment
Correct word choice
and unemployment
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 is the same .
Individual
Add an article
An individual
The individual
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 who
satisfy
Change the verb form
satisfies
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work
Use synonyms
 is the complete opposite
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 individual who does not enjoy
work
Use synonyms
 . To be more precise, the more
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 desire to operate ,the more these
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 would be
indispanseble
Correct your spelling
indispensable
. Take Elon Musk as an example,
it
Correct pronoun usage
he
she
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 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 person who loves space ,and thanks to
thise
Correct your spelling
this
these
those
 desire humanity
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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gigant
Correct article usage
a gigant
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 in the field of space . In conclusion, the paramount
criteria
Fix the agreement mistake
criterion
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 in selecting a major
is
Change the verb form
are
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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satisfaction . If every people would
like
Wrong verb form
liked
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 something
as
Change preposition
like
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 Elon Musk , the world would get astonishing professionals .
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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