Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

These days, the amount of

violence

media

is growing. While some

people

argue that

this

trend will undoubtedly lead humans to a dangerous future, others claim that it has no damaging effect on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. I believe that in most cases

media

violence

doesn't affect

people

's behaviour.

Firstly

, I think that

people

act on their motives, regardless of what they see on

television

That is

to say, if someone intends to do harm to somebody,

that is

not because of watching TV or playing computer games

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but due to that person's character and education.

For example

, it is generally considered that violent

media

accustoms viewers to cruelty,but I doubt

this

opinion. In my view, reasonable and intelligent

people

treat others humanely irrespective of what they see or hear in fictional stories.

Moreover

, video games and

television

may even reduce social

violence

by providing a safe outlet for aggressiveness.

For instance

, truculent

people

may fight in virtual reality

instead

of evincing their combative spirit in

real

Add an article

the real

show examples

world.

This

may not only help those

people

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

reduce the level of social

violence

long-term

Add an article

a long-term

the long-term

show examples

perspective.

Finally

, despite many claims and assumptions about

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

effects of

television

and computer

games

Add a comma

,games

show examples

I have never seen any proven connection between violent

media

and illegal activities in social life. Taking everything into consideration, I would say that

violence

in contemporary

media

has no substantial influence on

people

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Television

and computers are not the main factors that shape personal character, and they can even be useful in reducing the level of

violence

Submitted by abhinayam on Mon Jan 23 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

258 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful ti individuals and to society. To what extend do you agree or disagree

In the future all cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets, many small local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?