IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram shows the different stages in the production of woolen goods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows the different stages in the production of woolen goods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates one particular way to produce
wool
Use synonyms
 to manufacture carpets or jackets or for knitting. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that
this
Linking Words
 process comprises 4 main stages: collecting, drying, spinning, and storing for retail. The first stage of
this
Linking Words
 process is to shear the sheep to obtain its fur.
Secondly
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, it is washed with water before being dried.
Next,
Linking Words
dried fur is spun with the product being
wool
Use synonyms
 and the byproduct being a string, which is
then
Linking Words
 sent to factories to be recycled. The tufted
wool
Use synonyms
, which is formed by many pieces of
wool
Use synonyms
, is stored in large numbers before being sold to the customers or clothing industries in the form of balls. Those balls of yarn are
finally
Linking Words
 used for knitting and manufacturing jackets and carpets.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words wool with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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