In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

#times #children #time #families #friends #change #parents #force #home

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, juveniles prefer to spend their time with companies,

while

Linking Words

they spend less time with families. From my perspective, youth can understand each other and guardians should not compel their kids to stay at home.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons for

this

Linking Words

issue and my perspective in subsequent paragraphs. On the one hand, Juveniles like to engage in activities with peers who are in the same age group because they can grasp each other.

Besides

Linking Words

they are interested same things

such

Linking Words

as games, TV shows and other activities. These make children joyful to participate in many exercises with their peers.

For example

Linking Words

, children 6-12 years old like to spend more hours with companies at weekends for playing sports activities or games

instead

Linking Words

of staying with families. On the one hand, Parents should not force their kids to spend more hours at home because that might affect their

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

and lead to greater issues because they think that parents

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

grasp them. And

also

Linking Words

can emphasize

Wrong verb form

emphasises

show examples

that peers are more understanding than guardians.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a child is forced by families will get a knot from

this

Linking Words

situation.

Therefore

Linking Words

guardians should not force their kids to stay with family

however

Linking Words

they need to balance their hours between being with friends and household.

For example

Linking Words

, a family can have precious moments anytime like dinner times, vacations and others. In conclusion, children prefer to spend more time with friends

due to

Linking Words

their age and those having the same interests. I personally believe that parents should not compel their youth to spend more moments

moreover

Linking Words

they need to keep a balance between friends and family.

Submitted by Soi_nat on Tue Feb 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

The essay does not fully address the essay prompt and lacks depth of analysis. The arguments are presented in a somewhat disorganized manner, making it difficult to follow the points. There is a need for improvement in providing a more comprehensive response to the task prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks coherence and cohesion as the ideas are not logically organized and connected. There is a need for better use of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of the essay. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more effectively structured to provide a stronger framework for the essay.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Academic commitments
Extracurricular activities
Technology and social media
Peer acceptance
Independence
Family dynamics
Cultural norms
Individualism
Parental enforcement
Family bonds
Social development
Autonomy versus guidance

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful ti individuals and to society. To what extend do you agree or disagree
In this present days, media plays a vital role in the society. One of the most recent trends of today's world is the upsurge in focusing on rreporting problems and emergencies. There is a widespread belief aamong people that thing is a popular subject of debate. In my perspective focusing on problems and emergencies have more positive things than negative once. In this essay, I will discuss why important focus on problems and emergencies as opposed ti positive development.
7.5
band
As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?
The idea that, besides making money, enterprises also need to have public responsibilities remains a source of controversy. In my opinion, while generating profit is the top priority for each company, I agree that they should also conduct their business in a socially responsible manner.
5.5
band
Some people feel tha manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.Discuss bothe views and give your opinions. 5.0
There are discussions around whether manufacturers and stores or customers should be responsible for the problem of overpackaged products. While some may argue that only factories and supermarkets can change the amount of package used, I believe that customers should have greater responsibility as the high sales of overpackaged goods is the ultimate reason why manufacturers are producing them.
5
band
In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In some regions, the seniors are of the great appreciation, whereas in others, the younger are considered more valuable. In my individual, although the process of a nation rely on young contributions, elderly should be appreciated for their dedication in the past and the valuable experience will provide for next generation.
5
band
It is much more convenient to watch a movie on television or computer than buy a ticket and go to the cinema. In the nearest future of the popularity of cinemas will drastically decline. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, many people are now preferring to enjoy a movie in the comfort of their homes instead of going to the movie house. I believe that the future of cinemas will soon dramatically decrease as there are more comfortable ways which are cost efficient.

In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful ti individuals and to society. To what extend do you agree or disagree

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel tha manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.Discuss bothe views and give your opinions. 5.0

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is much more convenient to watch a movie on television or computer than buy a ticket and go to the cinema. In the nearest future of the popularity of cinemas will drastically decline. Do you agree or disagree?