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Band 5.5

More and more people are working from home rather then at workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views ans give your own opinion.

#people #home #workplace #workers #families #stress #ans
In the modern era, telecommuting has become a controversial topic. Some people opine that it is beneficial for workers and their families if they
work
 from home. But others believe that it causes more stress in
household
Add an article
the household
show examples
. I will discuss both prospects and my own point of view in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs. To commence with, the biggest advantage of working from home is that it saves
time
 and
minrt
Correct your spelling
mind
mint
 both
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because employees don't have to commute to and from
work
.
Moreover
, they don't need to spend money on private and public transportation for travelling.
Moreover
, they can utilize that
time
 for any side business and earn more money.
Furthermore
, it
provies
Correct your spelling
provides
 the opportunity to spend more
time
wit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 family
mambers
Correct your spelling
members
.
For example
, they can drop off their lids
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 school and pick them up in their free
time
.
On the other hand
 side, there are only
few
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a few
show examples
 cons of working from home
such
 as
worker
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workers
show examples
 need a
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
pleace
Correct your spelling
place
 to set up
Correct article usage
a workstation
show examples
workstation
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workstations
show examples
 which may not
possible
Add a missing verb
be possible
show examples
 if they have small kids. Sometimes, other people
disturbing
Wrong verb form
disturb
show examples
 them every now and
then
. So, it is hard to make a
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance. Moving
further
,
if
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it
show examples
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
extra
Add an article
an extra
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 burden on
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
 pockets, if companies don't provide
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.
In addition
 to
this
, it may cut down the bond with
other
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another
show examples
 world, which may
leads
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lead
show examples
 to depression.
According to
 a survey conducted by London university, mental diseases increase by 49 %
percent
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per cent
show examples
due to
panademics
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pandemics
pandemic
. In my opinion, even if there are
comtrasting
Correct your spelling
contrasting
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 on
this
 matter,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe that
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 are negligible as compared to
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
.
Parhaps
Correct your spelling
Perhaps
, the main benefit is the employees can
work
 from any corner of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
, which
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job opportunities.
For instance
, people from India can
work
 for a company located in USA or Canada. Stress caused by smart
work
 is a small piece to pay for
vast
Add an article
the vast
a vast
show examples
 amount of benefits associated with telecommuting.
Submitted by arsh8053dhillon on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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