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Writing Samples
Band 5

more and more people are working from home rather then at the workplace. Some people say that this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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In the modern era, telecommuting has become a controversial topic. Some people opine that it is beneficial for workers and their families if they
work
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 from
home
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. But others believe that it causes more stress in the household. I will discuss both prospects and my own point of view in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, the biggest advantage of working from
home
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 is that it saves
time
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 and money
both
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apply
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because employees don't have to commute to and from
work
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.
Moreover
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, they don't need to spend money on private and public transportation for travelling.
Moreover
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, they can utilize that
time
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 for any side business and earn more money.
Furthermore
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, it provides the opportunity to spend more
time
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 with family members.
For example
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, they can drop off their kids at school and pick them up in their free
time
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.
On the other hand
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 side, there are only a few cons of working from
home
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such
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 as workers need a quiet place to set up workstations which may not be possible if they have small kids. Sometimes, other people disturb them every now and
then
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. So, it is hard to make a balance between personal and professional life. Moving
further
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, it
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
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 put some extra burden on employees' pockets, if companies don't provide equipment.
In addition
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 to
this
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, it may cut down the bond with the outer world, which may lead to depression.
According to
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 a survey conducted by London
university
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University
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, mental diseases
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 by 49 %
due to
Linking Words
 pandemics. In my opinion, even if there are contrasting opinions on
this
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 matter, I believe that the disadvantages are negligible as compared to the advantages. Perhaps, the main benefit is the employees can
work
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 from any corner of the world, which increases job opportunities.
For instance
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, people from India can
work
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 for a company located in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 or Canada.  In conclusion, the benefits of working from
home
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 outweigh its drawbacks. Stress caused by smart
work
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 is a small piece to pay for the vast amount of benefits associated with telecommuting.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be more engaging. Ensure that the introduction provides a clear outline of the essay and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but there are areas where the development of ideas could be improved. Ensure that the essay follows a clear and logical progression of ideas and that the main points are effectively supported with relevant examples and details.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both benefits and drawbacks of working from home. Ideas are mostly clear, but some points could be more fully developed. Ensure that each main point is fully explored and consider providing more specific examples to support the ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas about the topic, offering both benefits and drawbacks of working from home. The ideas are relevant to the topic, but some could be further expanded. Consider providing more detailed examples and explanations to fully support the ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Telecommuting
  • Flexi-time
  • Remote work
  • Work-life integration
  • Virtual collaboration
  • Self-discipline
  • Workspace
  • Burnout
  • Ergonomics
  • Time management
  • Distractions
  • Productivity
  • Commuting
  • Connectivity issues
  • Team dynamics
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