IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. Do you agree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #cent #percentage #women
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Many corporations are prioritising males over females in high-ranked positions, despite that more than half of the working staff is based on females.
Therefore
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, it is argued to allot a specific proportion of these designations to female staff. I agree with the idea, as it will ensure women's empowerment and increase the competition among manpower. Regarding the benefits of allotting a major position to womenfolks in the workplace, it will promote the empowerment of women, which is essential for a well-balanced society.
As a result
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,
womankind
Replace the word
women
show examples
 will get their deserved rights in every field and will be treated with respect and honour.
Moreover
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, they will improve the socio-economic status of a country. Was well-said by Napoleon that "Give me an educated mother, I shall promise you the birth of a civilised and educated nation”, reflecting the strength of womanhood.
Additionally
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, it will create a sense of competition and merit for job-seekers, if both genders would be considered equally for highly-accredited positions in any organisation.
Consequently
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, a well-deserving candidate will be chosen and eliminate the gender discriminative ideology of society.
Thus
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, the economy and moral values of society will flourish.
For example
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, in the police departments in Pakistan, there are many female police officers in reputable positions, which is a positive step toward the development of the system. In conclusion, ensuring the contribution of female citizens of a nation should be given due percentage
while
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 selecting a candidate for high-grade posts, as
this
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 will bring equality in rights provision,
as well as
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, the improvement in the standard of working staff.
Therefore
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, I agree that
such
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 changes should be brought both in the private and government sectors of a country.
Submitted by ridanaheed03 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender diversity
  • Affirmative action
  • Meritocracy
  • Quotas
  • Glass ceiling
  • Legal enforcement
  • Tokenism
  • Voluntary measures
  • Career progression
  • Representation
  • Workforce parity
  • Backlash
  • Historical imbalances
  • Corporate governance
  • Inclusive practices
  • Boardroom dynamics
  • Gender norms
  • Unconscious bias
  • Regulatory frameworks
  • Corporate ladder
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