IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to help employees perform better in their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#employers #staff #-week #holiday #year #employees #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To improve
employee
 performance at
work
, employers should provide at least four weeks of
vacation
 per year. I completely disagree with
this
 statement. For one thing, extended
vacations
 may negatively affect
employee
 productivity upon their return and, for another,
such
vacations
 can lead to
burnout
 for the remaining
employees
 who are required to cover for their absent colleagues.
While
 taking a brief
vacation
 can boost
employee
 morale and energy, an extended
vacation
 may lead to reduced productivity when
employees
 return to
work
.
This
 is because
such
 a long break may cause them to become detached from their
work
 and struggle to regain their momentum.
For instance
, software engineers who take a prolonged break may not have the opportunity to practice their technical skills, which could result in a loss of proficiency in the programming languages, frameworks, and tools they regularly use. In the constantly evolving technology industry, it can be challenging for
employees
 to restore their
work
 pace and catch up with the latest developments if they have been away for an extended period.
Moreover
, the idea of providing long
vacations
 to
employees
 can cause additional stress and
burnout
 for those who remain at
work
. If all
employees
 take a long
vacation
 at the same time, it may be unrealistic to expect that the company can still operate effectively.
Consequently
, some have to remain and cover for their absent colleagues. And the longer their absent colleagues are on
vacation
, the more
work
 they have to take on.
As a result
, they may experience
burnout
due to
 excessive workload, and their job performance may decrease
as a consequence
. In conclusion, I disagree that providing a
vacation
 of at least four weeks can enhance
employee
 performance in the workplace.
Such
 extended
vacations
 can cause
employees
 to experience a decline in productivity upon their return and lead to
burnout
 for those who remain at
work
.
Submitted by Aryan Patel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rest and recuperate
  • Increased productivity
  • Mental health
  • Enhanced creativity
  • Problem-solving
  • Reduced burnout
  • Job satisfaction
  • Work-life balance
  • Long-term benefits
  • Motivated workforce
  • Mental space
  • Extended break
  • Employee performance
  • Healthier workforce
  • Ample time
What to do next:
Look at other essays: