The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012. Summarise information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

#percentage #staff #members #faculties #university #summarise #information #features #comparison

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The bar graph compares the proportion of several majors in a university in 2012 for male and female academic staff members, and these majors are: arts,

business

Use synonyms

, education, engineering, law, medicine and science.

Firstly

Linking Words

, engineering accounted

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

highest percentage for

males

Use synonyms

, but for

Use synonyms

females

Add a comma

,females

show examples

it was the lowest one of all 18%.

Besides

Linking Words

, for

Use synonyms

females

Add a comma

,females

show examples

the one that comes at the top is education which was at 72%,

although

Linking Words

for

males

Use synonyms

it was the

least

Correct your spelling

last

show examples

one at 25%.

In addition

Linking Words

, medicine had almost the same ratio for both genders.

Also

Linking Words

business

Use synonyms

and science

comes

Change the verb form

come

show examples

Linking Words

secondly

Change the word

second

show examples

after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

engineering, it reached

Change preposition

apply

show examples

62% for

males

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, for

females

Use synonyms

arts was in second place at 58%, after engineering major, followed by medicine at 50%.

Overall

Linking Words

females

Use synonyms

were less interested in these two majors engineering and

business

Use synonyms

, but their big interest went

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

choosing education and arts.

On the other hand

Linking Words

males

Use synonyms

seem to like engineering the most,

as well as

Linking Words

science,

business

Use synonyms

and law 60%.

Submitted by dialamustafaalwais on Fri Mar 10 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words business, males, females with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

163 words

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