The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the

proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make

comparisons where relevant.
The graph presents the types and proportions of
men
’s and
women
’s high
education
degrees in Australia in 1999. Generally, we can see a wide disparity in proportions in different kinds of
education
with the most popular for
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
skilled vocation
diploma
and for
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
undergraduate
diploma
.
In contrast
to
men
,
women
considerably smaller than
men
tend to get a skilled vocational
diploma
which is only approximately 10 %, and it stands
last
in the percentage of
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
education
. In comparison with it, undergraduate credentials are the smallest popular
education
for
men
and it is around twice as small as
this
degree for
women
.
On the other hand
, a bachelor’s degree has almost identical values both for both sexes nearly 50 %, for
men
this
value is just slightly lower by 5 %. One additional detail to add is that only undergraduate
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
and bachelor’s degrees have a bigger share of
education
among
women
,
whereas
three other equalizations rank higher among
men
.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words education, men, diploma, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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