IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph presents the types and proportions of
men
Use synonyms
’s and
women
Use synonyms
’s high
education
Use synonyms
 degrees in Australia in 1999. Generally, we can see a wide disparity in proportions in different kinds of
education
Use synonyms
 with the most popular for
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 skilled vocation
diploma
Use synonyms
 and for
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 undergraduate
diploma
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to
men
Use synonyms
,
women
Use synonyms
 considerably smaller than
men
Use synonyms
 tend to get a skilled vocational
diploma
Use synonyms
 which is only approximately 10 %, and it stands
last
Linking Words
 in the percentage of
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
education
Use synonyms
. In comparison with it, undergraduate credentials are the smallest popular
education
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
 and it is around twice as small as
this
Linking Words
 degree for
women
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a bachelor’s degree has almost identical values both for both sexes nearly 50 %, for
men
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 value is just slightly lower by 5 %. One additional detail to add is that only undergraduate
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
 and bachelor’s degrees have a bigger share of
education
Use synonyms
 among
women
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 three other equalizations rank higher among
men
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words education, men, diploma, women with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: