IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

1. Some people think that employers should give its staff at least four weeks holidays a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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With the growing fierce competition and rapid pace of daily life, people in today's society are suffering from heavy physical and psychological pressure without sufficient rest. Many people become frequent job hoppers because of the imbalance between
work
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 and life.
Therefore
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, it is natural that the view of giving staff at least four
weeks
Change noun form
weeks'
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 holiday a year becomes popular among
employees
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. They think the way helps to give
employees
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 more leisure
time
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 and
finally
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 improve productivity. From my point of view, I agree with the statement and consider that the demerits of
this
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 suggestion outshine its merits.
Holidays
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 are essential for every worker so they can get rid of worries.
Firstly
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, taking
time
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 off from steady
work
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 for some a year increases productivity as
this
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 would lower their stress level a prevent other problems like relationships, after returning from vacation they would feel mentally refreshed and relaxed. Countries like Europe,
for example
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, give their
employees
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 a two-week off for some of the festivals which is the reason, their workforce is more creative and productive.
In addition
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, after coming back from the
holidays
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 the task may not seem so difficult, since stepping outside of a monotonous routine can mitigate a few worries aiding people in coming back to
work
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 more energetically.
Further
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, longer
holidays
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 are definitely helping the employee to achieve
work
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-life balance as they would be able to spend
time
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 focusing on their health, family and other interest which can lead to a happier life for them, for ,instance one of my friends have been serving the country in the military, he is living far away from their family must feel alone and suffer a lot as there is no one with him to talk about his personal matter which can make him mentally weak, the cause of their problem is the unavailability of free
time
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 in their lives,
hence
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 longer
holidays
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 can enable the workers to focus on their hobbies and family, they can be motivated after returning to
work
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. In a nutshell, a suitable holiday
time
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 period of one to two weeks is the right choice. Enterprises can offer
employees
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 group travelling to boost staff morale and enhance cooperation and friendship among
employees
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employee performance
  • productivity
  • sufficient time off
  • relax and recharge
  • stress and burnout
  • personal growth
  • learning new skills
  • gaining new perspectives
  • motivated
  • engaged
  • creative
  • disrupt workflow
  • excessive time off
  • hinder productivity
  • continuous presence
  • work-life balance
  • specific number of holidays
  • fixed vacation time
  • flexible arrangements
  • paid time off policies
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