Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

#people #move #friends #families #work #development

In recent years, graduate

people

immigrate

Wrong verb form

have immigrated

show examples

to other countries

country

for their bright future.

As a result

, they leave their loved ones and best

friends

in their hometown.

Although

growing up in a well-educated

country

is a good approach for folks, it has minor drawbacks for their families and school

friends

. In my opinion, I think that moving away from their close relatives brings more success for individuals compared to any disadvantages it might bring. Admittedly, there are some basic drawbacks to

people's

Change noun form

people

show examples

moving away from their families and starting a new

life

in another region.

Firstly

, they can not help their parents in any serious situations.

For example

, if anyone from the family is facing any health problem

then

people

, who are staying abroad, are not able to help them.

Moreover

, sometimes they

even cannot

Wrong verb form

are not

show examples

able

Rephrase

even able

show examples

to contact their family.

Secondly

, they

also

left

Wrong verb form

leave

show examples

their best

friends

behind, which are very helpful in good or bad situations.

For instance

, some folks share feelings with their

friends

if they

felt

Wrong verb form

feel

show examples

any stress in

life

As a consequence

at the end

of , say they feel relaxed.

Nevertheless

, despite the disadvantages above, I believe

people

should gain more advantages from

this

approach. One great benefit is that they become independent

people

, which is needed in

this

life

In other words

, they can manage their responsibilities like cooking, cleaning, self-caring and commuting. Another positive aspect is that they gain more knowledge from

this

diverse

country

and learn new cultures.

For example

, they can learn new languages and

also

learn how to talk to professional

people

People

can

also

make new

friends

and neighbours.

As a result

people

can grow their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

with

this

approach. In conclusion, nowadays,

people

are moving to other countries

country

for a better future. I believe, being moved to another region far outweighs any of the minor disadvantages that could have.

Submitted by writing7 on Sun Mar 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure and coherence of your essay by using proper paragraph development and organization. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly present the main ideas of your essay. Provide more specific examples and details to support your points.

task achievement

Ensure that your essay addresses all aspects of the task prompt, provides clear and comprehensive ideas, and supports them with relevant and specific examples. Consider the advantages and disadvantages of people moving away from their families for work, and provide a balanced argument.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

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Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?