IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some employers want to be able to contacts their staff at a all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

#employers #contacts #staff #times #holidays #development
There is growing sentiment today related to working after office hours. Few bosses want to connect with their employees after working
time
while
 they are on vacation. From my point
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
view, I believe that it trend brings more cons than pros and I will discuss it in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, the main benefit of working after office hours is related to some emergency cases. In some special conditions
such
 as emergency cases in the hospital, or fire fighting situations, some cases need to be rescued, protected from police agencies, etc. Employers connect with their employees and give them vision and manage them easier.
On the other hand
, there are many disadvantages to
this
 development.
Firstly
, disturbing employees during their vacations will break their moods on relaxing days.
Secondly
, if a boss forces their staff to
work
 after office hours, it makes them under more pressure and it affects their mental health of them. Relaxing
time
 on the holidays
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are the best
time
 to relax and renewable energy with their loves. People usually spend that
time
 hanging out with their families and doing some activities that they do not do when working. If that
time
, they need to
work
 and do not relax enough, they can not come back to their
work
 with full energy and it will affect the
work
's effectiveness. In conclusion,
although
, in some situations,contact with staff is very important like in emergencies.
However
, worker's private life and mental health should be considered .
Submitted by khanhlinh151123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • downtime
  • responsiveness
  • invasion of privacy
  • employee morale
  • dedication
  • reliability
  • client relations
  • overworked
  • efficiency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: