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Writing Samples
Band 4

This line chart shows trends in terms of employment i the USA in millions and predictions for the future.

This line chart shows trends in terms of employment i the USA in millions and predictions for the future.
#line #trends #terms #employment #usa #millions #predictions #future
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Linking Words
This
Change preposition
In this
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 line chart we can see trends of employment in different things in the United States of America throughout the years in millions.
Over all
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Overall
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, we can see that during the
last
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 15 years, between the years 1975 and
2025
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,2025
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 there has been some increment in the area of services and some decreasement in manufacturing and agriculture.
Firstly
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, we can see that at
first
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,first
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 the services were steady between 10 and 15 million but in 1979
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 went up sharply to end in 90. In the area of
manufacturing
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,manufacturing
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 it was similar to services at
first,
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in 1979 it went up and got to 40
however
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 in 1980 it dropped to 10 million in 2025.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the one that had the most changes
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, in particular,
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in particular
Linking Words
 was agriculture. It started in 1975 with 80 million just to
plung
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plunge
plug
 to 50 in 1979, to finish up with 10 in 2025.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "trends" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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