The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.

#two #show #percentages #industry #sectors #contribution #economy #turkey

The two pie charts give information

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

percent

Replace the word

percentage

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of manufacturing

parts'

Change noun form

parts

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gift the economy of Turkey between 2000 and 2016.

Overall

, as can be seen from the graph

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

which

resource

Correct subject-verb agreement

resources

show examples

the most

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

and the less

percent

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per cent

show examples

To begin

with, the first chart illustrates a great deal of information in 2000 . Agriculture more contributed to 24 %

whereas

the

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apply

show examples

construction helped less than other sectors . it was only 3 %. Leisure and Hospitality, Healthcare and Education donated the same

percent

Replace the word

percentage

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to 17 and Government , Manufacturing , Utilities and transportation from

trade

Correct article usage

the trade

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side and Business and Others from

finance

Correct article usage

the finance

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direction . They were 12 , 8 , 14 and 5

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

respectively

On the other hand

, the second chart provides all sectors how

percent

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per cent

show examples

in 2016. Healthcare and Education

not

Add a missing verb

have not

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changed . It remained

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at 17

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% and

this

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in this

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sector the most assisted than others and

also

Agriculture ,

Goverment

Correct your spelling

government

and Leisure and Hospitality declined by contribution

Change preposition

apply

show examples

from 2000 to 2016 by 10 % , 3 % and 3 % respectively.

By contrast

, Manufacturing , Construction , Business and other and

also

Utilities and Transportation jumped by 4 , 7, 3 and 2

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

respectively

Submitted by chartakinnovation on Wed Apr 26 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

200 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The two pie charts below show the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.

The Internet will never replace traditional course books in schools. Do you agree with this prediction?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. Why? What are the effects on society?

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicnes and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is more important for a building to serve its purpose to look beautiful. Architects don’t need to worry about whether it is a real work of art. Do you agree or disagree?