Some people think that video games are advantages while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. I would argue that video game my give the negative effect

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Now we are passing the modern era which has a lot of opportunities for online
video
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games
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as well as
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offline
video
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games
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. In my point of view is that; it has
much
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many
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more disadvantages for every
people
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person
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. I want to try to elaborate on the whole negative impact of
this
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easily. On the one hand, we are getting numerical negativity for the development of technological invention, which techniques
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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not giving us benefits in different
segment
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segments
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like
video
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games
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.
This
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is the
worse
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worst
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creation in the modern era, which is
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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video
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games
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. We are wasting
time
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and value those that are not beneficial; we are getting only recreation from
this
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stuff. For that reason,
peoples
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people
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want to try wasting
time
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with
this
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stuff. They are losing their mind, whenever they can use it for any productive work.
This
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is a total waste of
time
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.
On the other hand
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, for
this
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,addiction the new generation is not applying physical activity in the sports centre and is not much more attractive in athletics. For that , the reason they are wasting
time
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on virtual
games
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. In
this
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,case they are affected by disease.
For example
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, if you are not doing any kind of physical activity
then
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your body will go to destruction, and you will face high blood pressure, sugar and
also
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obesity. Right now
this
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is a very common problem for the young generation. So need to make some of the boundaries for
this
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kind of disorder.
Then
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we will get a good and healthy environment for new youth. In conclusion,
the
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apply
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excess is everything bad; do not make your affection to virtual
games
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, it will be a waste of hours and money as well. Need to develop a constructive environment for all generations.

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task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer in stating your position. Consider rephrasing it to directly indicate that you will argue against the positive aspects of video games.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating more structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally start with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of that paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, naming specific games or studies about gaming addiction could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes the main points clearly and reiterates your stance without introducing new ideas.
task achievement
You effectively present your perspective on the harmful effects of video games.
task achievement
Some ideas about the impact of video games on physical health and lifestyle choices are highlighted, which are relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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