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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The upper and lower charts illustrate the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
British
Use synonyms
students
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' second languages at one university in the UK during the given years. A closer examination of the charts reveals that
British
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students
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 who were able to speak German made up the highest number
of
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apply
show examples
30% in 2000 and 35% in 2010.
However
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,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
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 of
British
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students
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 only speaking
English
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 halved from 20% in 2000 to 10% in 2010, that of those using another language
besides
Linking Words
 French, German, and Spanish increased from 15% in 2000 to 20% in 2010.
This
Linking Words
 alternation caused the figure for
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 language users to surpass that for
English
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 speakers without other language abilities in 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a similar trend was seen in
British
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students
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 who could speak French and two other languages.
While
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 the
percentage
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 of
students
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 who were trilingual rose by 5%, accounting for 15% in 2010, that of those speaking French declined by the same
percentage
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, reaching 10% in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
British
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students
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 who could speak German
in addition
Linking Words
 to
English
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 remained the same
percentage
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 of 10% over the corresponding period, which was the lowest figure.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the majority of
British
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students
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 could use other languages
in addition
Linking Words
 to
English
Use synonyms
 both in 2000 and 2010.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, british, students, english with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • multilingualism
  • globalisation
  • immigration
  • education policy
  • career prospects
  • cultural understanding
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • increased/decreased
  • significant
  • trends
  • shifts
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