IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym and other sport clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate and reach a conclusion.

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Many companies believe that healthy employees
work
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 more effectively at
work
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 and to promote the trend employers have started providing gym memberships and other sports
clubs card
Fix the agreement mistake
club cards
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.
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While others
Correct word choice
Others
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 argue against the statement by saying
this
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 will make them more tired and less interested whilst at
work
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. We shall discuss both of the points of view in the below paragraphs. The major advantage of having subsidized membership in health clubs is that it will improve the
overall
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 well-being of an individual. It is well known today that people are so busy earning their livelihood that their health has taken a backseat.
For example
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, after working for long hours no one is left with the energy to
work
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 out. If employers will offer these benefits, they will be motivated to exercise and stay active.
Additionally
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, exercising not only keeps the body in shape but
also
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 lets people take out their stress and frustration.
Thus
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, by staying active employees will be physically and mentally healthy which will ensure good performance in the office.
Conversely
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, some employers feel it to be a waste of time and
money
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. Like, if a person
is going
Wrong verb form
goes
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 to the gym before coming to the office, he will be exhausted for the rest of the day and will not be able to focus on his assignment.
In addition
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 to
this
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, these memberships will cost
money
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 to organisations, and who wants to spend
money
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 unnecessarily?
Therefore
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, capital is a reason that maybe a few companies are against providing these benefits to their workers.
To conclude
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, gym and other health club memberships are essential. They help an individual to stay fit which will increase their output in the office.
However
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, if
money
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 is a challenge, organisations can
do
Verb problem
make
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 a one-time investment by having sports facilities at their premises and can give their employees free access.

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task response
Ensure that the arguments from both aspects of the debate are presented clearly and supported with evidence. Additionally, address any potential counterarguments to provide a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good logical structure and coherence. Ensure that the ideas are connected well throughout the essay with clear transitions between paragraphs.
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