IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Paying all workers the same salary in a company promotes harmony and respect among colleagues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In order to create a harmonious condition in a company, some managers consider
to pay
Wrong verb form
paying
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 salaries equally to their employees. As a response to the previous phenomenon, I strongly believe that exceptional ecosystems in the corporation can be realised by paying the same
among
Fix the agreement mistake
amount to
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the
Correct article usage
all
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 workers. To strengthen my consideration, there will be some perspectives which will be elucidated in the following paragraphs. In the beginning, giving the same salary to the
labours
Use the right word
labourers
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 has several positive sides, one of them being supporting equality in the working system.
Then
Linking Words
, there is no massive gap among the employees who can have different backgrounds
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as gender, age, and nationality.
As a result
Linking Words
, the corporations can operate exceptionally
due to
Linking Words
 the previous occasion
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 able to decrease the stigma
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as one gender
will be
Wrong verb form
being
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 paid more than another gender.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my previous office, the boss allocated the same number to his subordinates
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 was seen as a fair policy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people can be stimulated by distributing equal allocation as a way to ameliorate respect for each other at the
employees
Fix the agreement mistake
employee
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 level. Based on the earlier statement, if numerous people in the internal working ecosystem are stimulated by the same
resource
Punctuation problem
resource,
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 it can decrease the issue that some units are given more attention by a number of costs which are allocated to them.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the personnel can respect each other in view of they have the same level of salary.
For example
Linking Words
, my workmate and I never made the stigma and always held trust because we had equal payment from the corporation.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I declare my position that distributing a budget without dissimilarity as workers' payment has
a
Correct article usage
the
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probability
Check wording
potential
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 to construct outstanding situations for the office
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as respecting other workmates and
optimizing
Change the spelling
optimising
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 harmony. It has benefits
such
Linking Words
 as advocating equality and decreasing the stigma
in
Change preposition
within
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 the
internal
Correct word choice
apply
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company.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a short statement of your view and then add three main ideas.
coherence
Put each idea in one paragraph. Begin each with a clear sentence that tells the idea.
grammar
Use simple, short sentences. Check for long, run-on lines and fix them.
content
Give stronger or more specific examples to back each point.
lexis
Choose exact words and avoid rare or odd forms. Use the common words from everyday English.
content
The writer shows a clear stance in favour of equal pay.
structure
There are linking words to show flow (In the beginning, Moreover, To conclude).
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