The pie charts compare the amount of online shopping sales for the retail sector in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Moreover, these sales are divided into four categories: travel, film/ music, book, and clothes.

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The pie charts compare the number of online shopping

sales

Use synonyms

for the retail sector in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Moreover

Linking Words

, these

sales

Use synonyms

are divided into four categories:

travel

Use synonyms

film

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

, book, and clothes.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be clearly observed that

although

Linking Words

the sale of

travel

Use synonyms

accounted for the largest proportion in 2003, 10 years later it was replaced by

film

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

sales

Use synonyms

. Starting with 2003, the

sales

Use synonyms

of the

travel

Use synonyms

sector accounted for the highest percentage, at 36%, followed by clothes at 24%, and

film

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

at 21%, respectively.

In contrast

Linking Words

, books were the worst-selling category, seeing that they only made up 19% of all

sales

Use synonyms

. In 2013, the sale of

film

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

experienced a considerable increase to 33%, replacing that of

travel

Use synonyms

, which slightly declined to 29% from 36%.

Finally

Linking Words

, it is interesting to note that

although

Linking Words

books were the worst-selling category in 2003, there were replaced by clothing whose

sales

Use synonyms

dropped significantly from 24% and 16%, making it the category with the smallest

sales

Use synonyms

in 2013.

Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on Sun May 14 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, travel, film, music with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

171 words

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The pie charts compare the amount of online shopping sales for the retail sector in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Moreover, these sales are divided into four categories: travel, film/ music, book, and clothes.

Companies should provide sport and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people assert that it is good for college students to have part-jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the development of technology helps to reduce crime, while other people think it encourages crime. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

More and more people prefer to read e-book rather than paper books. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause for libraries?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.