IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water, etc.) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions?

Even though there is an increased level of the globe's
resources
Use synonyms
 by finding new sources or countries to obtain
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, the usage of these is
upscale
Replace the word
more
show examples
 than the materials obtained.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss two main causes of
this
Linking Words
 problem and some relevant solutions for the same. The main seed of
this
Linking Words
 increased consumption is an upward trend in the quantity of population. In many countries, there is a rapid expansion of humankind
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
show examples
 to which there is a rise in the usage of
resources
Use synonyms
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their basic needs like water
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and electricity.
For example
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
 few years, India had an upward trend in childbirth by almost 10% which in turn, increased the depletion of the
resources
Use synonyms
 available.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, there is a lack of awareness among people globally,
due to
Linking Words
 which they do not
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 that the assets like oil and water are limited, and they have to be careful in the quantity of their consumption.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a couple of more
economical
Replace the word
economically
show examples
parts
Correct word choice
disadvantaged parts
show examples
 of any state consume more than the other parts of the same state since they can buy
it
Punctuation problem
it,
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 others cannot. Take an illustration of my friend's
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
, where there is always a supply of electricity and most of the houses in that area have a
centralized
Change the spelling
centralised
show examples
 air conditioner
there
Punctuation problem
. There
show examples
 is another part of the same city, a slum area, where
electricity
Correct article usage
the electricity
show examples
 supply is restricted to 6 hours. Situations similar to
this
Linking Words
 will create a barrier in society. The solutions which I would suggest are
there
Correct word choice
that there
show examples
 should be an implementation of birth control laws
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as "one family one child
"
Punctuation problem
",
show examples
and awareness about barriers to reproduction can be taught to everyone, which might show a decline in the population.
In addition
Linking Words
, knowledge and the actual status of
resources
Use synonyms
 should be made public, so that they can
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 the real scenario.
Finally
Linking Words
, they can implement strict limitations
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 consuming the
resources
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the government will only give three containers of gas for kitchen purposes.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the world's
resources
Use synonyms
 are
exploited
Verb problem
being exploited
show examples
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is caused by overpopulation and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of awareness.
This
Linking Words
 can be solved by bringing some laws
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 action and limiting the
resources
Use synonyms
 available.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Make a small plan first and list the big idea you will use.
coherence
Use clear link words like and, but, so, then to show how ideas are linked.
content
Give a clear example for each idea to show it.
grammar
Check for grammar and small spelling mistakes to make the essay easy to read.
structure
There is a plan in the work with cause and fix.
examples
Real examples are used to show the idea.
conclusion
The ending sums up the idea.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: