IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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Information is presented in two pie charts which compare the amount of
time
Use synonyms
, in percentage, that employees spent on six different activities in a country between 1958 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
while
Linking Words
 each
activity
Use synonyms
 that working adults did
experienced
Change the verb form
experience
show examples
 a wide variety of changes, working and sleeping were the most and the second most popular categories in both years respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, the most significant change in employees’
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 was travelling to work. Turning to
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
 main feature, working ranked first in
activity
Use synonyms
 that working adults spent their
time
Use synonyms
 on over the survey period, contributing to 33% in 1958 and 42% in 2008.
Next,
Linking Words
sleeping ranked second in the
activity
Use synonyms
 that employees did. In 1958 the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 that employees slept was
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exact
Change the word
exactly
show examples
 32%, before decreasing slightly to a precise 25% in 2008. Turning to another main feature, with respect to going out, the popularity of
this
Linking Words
activity
Use synonyms
 decreased noticeably from a modest 19% in 1958 to only 6% in 2008.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there was
also
Linking Words
 an increase of 5% in relaxing at home. In 1958 only 8% of working adults spent their
time
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
activity
Use synonyms
. After
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 the popularity of
this
Linking Words
activity
Use synonyms
 rose to a modest 13% in 2008. The
last
Linking Words
 key point to note is travelling to work which rose fourfold from a precise 2% in 1958 to an exact 8% in 2008.
Submitted by hayfa.alkhalifa1 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, activity with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "modest" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • percentage
  • activities
  • working adults
  • summarise
  • report
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • relevant
  • time spent
  • work-related
  • leisure
  • personal care
  • travel
  • noticeable trends
  • over a period
  • devoted
  • significant changes
  • contrast
  • compare
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