IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of males and females who worked in three different sectors in two countries in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of males and females who worked in three different sectors in two countries in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #males #females #three #sectors #two #countries #information #features #comparisons
The provided pie charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 information about the rate of male and female
worked
Change the form of the verb
working
show examples
 in three different sectors (
agriculture
,
industry
 and
serviec
Correct your spelling
services
service
) in two
unclearified
Correct your spelling
unclarified
unclassified
 countries in 2007. The units are measured in
percentageges
Correct your spelling
percentages
.
Overall
, in both
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 the rate of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
worked
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in the service sections took the predominant position. It is
also
 clear that the
share
 for an
industry
section
 in
country
 A was the least worked
section
while
 the same
figure
 for
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
section
 in the
country
 was least considerable. 8%
aparted
Correct your spelling
apart
 the
share
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 working in
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
section
 in
country
 A from the same
figure
 for
females
 in
country
 A (49%) with the dominance of the former. The same index of male working in
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
section
 in
country
 A (43%) was higher than the same
figure
 in
country
 A for
females
. The same
figure
 for
males
 working in
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
section
 in
country
 A (15%). The same
share
 for
females
 in
country
 A (8%) was the least
considerable
Replace the word
considered
show examples
 in the group. 23 %
aparted
Correct your spelling
apart
 the
figure
 of
females
 in
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
section
 in
country
B
 from the same
share
 for
males
 in
country
B
 (65%) with the dominance of
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
. The same index for
males
 working in an
industry
section
 (32%) was higher than the same
figure
 for
females
 in
country
B
 (11%). The same
share
 for
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
section
 for
males
 was 3%
while
 the same data for
females
 in
country
B
 was the least considerable (1%).
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, industry, share, section, country, figure, females, males, b with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 3 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • percentage
  • sector
  • comparison
  • male
  • female
  • country
  • evaluation
  • trend
  • proportion
  • data
  • contrast
  • variation
  • labor market
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