IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below shows average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activities.

The table below shows average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activities.
#hours #minutes #uk #males #females #activities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table chart compared the
hours
Use synonyms
 of males and females who participate in daily tasks in the UK. First of all, females spent more
hours
Use synonyms
 on sleeping activity around 8.18
hours
Use synonyms
 as compared to males, who spent only 8.04
hours
Use synonyms
 per day.
Moreover
Linking Words
, boys and girls utilised the same
hours
Use synonyms
 for personal care and rest.
However
Linking Words
, the
hours
Use synonyms
 of eating and drinking for men and women were at 1.25 and 1.19 respectively. The second highest time spent on all leisure activities was almost 5
hours
Use synonyms
 for both genders.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest minutes were spent on sports approximately 0.9 minutes by males and females.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, men utilised almost half of the time on childcare and housework compared to women,
whereas
Linking Words
 both genders spent around the same time on travel, voluntary work and meetings.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the figure of men who do other activities has recorded an average of 12 minutes which was more than women.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the highest
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on sleeping.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on sports.
Submitted by amanjotkaur532 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: